


you're the ultimate high that i'm tripping on

by whatdoiknowx



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bondage, Safe Word Use, Wax Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:43:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdoiknowx/pseuds/whatdoiknowx
Summary: Dan and Phil try something new. It doesn't go completely to plan.





	you're the ultimate high that i'm tripping on

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to schiefergrau for being an amazing beta reader!

Phil felt a nudge against his waist. When he glanced up from his book, Dan was tipping his laptop screen towards him. 

"I think these ones look pretty good."

Phil placed his book down and shifted a little closer, head overlapping onto Dan's pillow. He hummed in response.

"Scroll down to the reviews."

Dan obliged, and Phil immediately took notice of the two-out-of-five stars rating. 

"'Cheap. Low quality. Could still see the red marks hours later.'" Phil winced as he read one of the comments out loud. "Yeah, that's a definite no."

Dan nodded in agreement, clicking through to the next product listed on the site. They came across a lot more duds, until they finally landed on something that looked promising. The black-and-grey product had four-out-of-five stars, and most of the reviews listed the qualities they were looking for - soft and fuzzy, adjustable and flexible, yet strong and durable. It was a bit of a pricey kit, and Phil tended to be a stingy buyer, but this was one of those things he definitely wasn't willing to buy cheap. 

They looked through some more options, but ended up back on the black-and-grey kit. Dan clicked the purchase button on the screen, bottom lip drawn between his teeth, face flushed slightly red. Phil could tell just the anticipation of what was to come with the purchase was turning Dan on a little. 

Phil's own cock was hardening slightly at the thought of how much Dan wanted this - and not just how much Dan wanted this, but how much _Phil_ wanted this as well. Dan had barely placed his laptop down after completing the order before Phil was crowding up into his space, sucking Dan's moistened lip between his own. Dan huffed out a startled laugh, but quickly returned the kiss just as earnestly, tugging at the hem of Phil's shirt.

\---

It didn't take long for the package to arrive, but it was a few weeks until they had the time - and were in the right mood - to put their new purchase to use.

It was tossed on the bed now, the four pieces in a bundle on top of the old sheet laid over their mattress. 

Phil picked up one of the restraint belts, securing it to the underside of the mattress at the foot of their bed. He did the same at the other side of the bed, then moved along to the head of the bed. He was just finishing up the fourth when Dan walked into the room, triumphantly holding up a white lighter. 

"I knew we'd put it in the kitchen," he said, placing the lighter next to the paraffin candle on one of their bedside tables. "Mr. Fire Safety didn't want to leave it in the bedroom."

Phil rolled his eyes playfully. "Well, the bedroom's not exactly the safest place to keep a lighter. We could light ourselves on fire in the middle of the night, or something."

Dan just stared at him with a deadpan look, lips twitching up into a smirk.

"Shut up," Phil said lightly, turning back to finish securing the last restraint in place. "You know what I meant. This is different."

It _was_ different. They had been planning and researching this for ages. The candle had been sitting in their flat for months, since the time Phil had half-seriously, half-jokingly bought it as part of Dan's birthday present after catching Dan watching videos involving wax play. Not that it was ever a secret that Dan was into this kind of thing, into most things that involved pain. They'd experimented with little things here and there, nipple clamps, a blindfold to intensify the sensations, some spanking - first with a hand, and eventually moving on to paddles.

They had also ventured into restraint territory, but so far they had simply used a scarf to restrain Dan's hands. Phil knew Dan was eagerly anticipating the set of ankle and wrist restraints they'd purchased, that he was excited to be completely constrained and under the control of someone else. 

He knew the thing Dan was most looking forward to though was the wax. Phil had learned Dan was into pain play early on, since the time years ago when he'd accidentally gotten too rough and bitten down on Dan's shoulder so hard there were still teeth marks the next day. Instead of flinching in any sort of pain, Dan had just moaned loudly and rutted hard against Phil's hip, coming in his pants. 

When Phil had given the candle to him, jokingly implying that it was meant to be used in bed, Dan hadn't laughed at all. It was a couple weeks later that they had a serious conversation about it, and then the research had begun, little by little as they discussed if this was something they both wanted to try. They kept the candle Phil had bought as it happened to be a good one for beginners, the paraffin wax not as hot as a beeswax alternative, the white colour free from any dyes that could potentially increase the temperature. 

Their hectic lives put the idea on hold for awhile, and in the meantime they had gotten an urge to purchase the bed restraints. It was Dan's idea to use the two items together, to combine the wax play with being fully restrained. He wanted to completely let himself go, to surrender his body to Phil. 

Phil's pulse quickened at the thought. Dan was gorgeous, and Phil was attracted to him at pretty much all times, even after years of being together - even in the mornings, when Dan's hair was a bird's nest atop his head and there was sleep in the corner of his eyes and a pillow imprint on his cheek. 

But when Dan gave himself over, when he was needy and desperate and begging - fuck. It drove Phil crazy. Images ran through Phil's mind, of Dan bent over while Phil spanked his ass and Dan cried out for more, of Dan begging to be allowed to come while Phil pushed him closer and closer to the edge, of Dan holding on until the last moment before his bladder gave out beneath Phil's body. 

Phil was startled out of his thoughts by Dan slipping up behind him and wrapping his arms around Phil's torso, kissing along his neck. 

"Someone's eager," Phil teased, a quiet moan escaping at the end as Dan nibbled against his collarbone. He turned, catching Dan's mouth in a long kiss. 

He felt Dan's hands slide down to his lower back, slipping briefly under the hem of his shirt. Phil stumbled back, the backs of his knees catching against the side of the bed. He clumsily pulled Dan back with him, letting out a huff of breath as Dan toppled on top of him, elbow digging into Phil's rib.

"Clutz," Dan giggled out against Phil's mouth, sliding their bodies up the bed until all their long limbs were comfortably on top of the mattress. 

Phil responded by licking deeper into Dan's mouth, sighing contentedly as Dan rolled his hips down against Phil's. He was beginning to grow slightly hard in his loose grey shorts, and he could feel Dan's own half-hard erection against his thigh. 

They snogged for a few minutes, neither of them moving to take things any further yet, just enjoying the taste of each other and the familiar closeness. Dan was the first to break away for air, leaning up to tug his t-shirt off. Phil stared up at him, arms and chest slightly more defined after the past year of more regular exercise, torso lean but still soft in all the ways Phil liked. Phil had a sudden urge to suck on one of the pert nipples standing out against Dan's flushed chest, but then Dan was leaning back down and pulling at the hem of Phil's own shirt. 

Phil responded belatedly, eyes still glued to Dan's bare torso as he hastily pulled his own shirt off. It got tangled halfway over his head, and they both let out a short laugh as Dan helped him the rest of the way out of his shirt, tossing it off the side of the bed. 

Dan's body was back on his a second later, warm chests flushed together. Dan brought his mouth down to Phil's neck, sucking hungrily on the exposed flesh. Phil tilted his head back in pleasure, letting out a low moan as Dan's crotch grinded slowly against his. He was nearing full hardness now, hips thrusting up against Dan's to get more pressure on his cock. 

Phil was getting lost in the pleasure, but there were things they were both looking forward to, and he was really eager to get that started. He guided Dan's mouth to his for one more deep kiss, then pushed Dan's chest lightly off of his. Dan responded by sinking back down and pressing his mouth back against Phil's, one hand reaching to tease along Phil's nipples. 

Phil shuddered, body tingling at the sensation. He was always weak for nipple play, and Dan knew that. He allowed another minute or so of increasingly passionate snogging, before pushing Dan back again, more forceful this time.

Dan cheekily went back in for one more kiss, then finally leaned back, smirking down at Phil. 

"What, not enjoying that?" he teased, knowing full well how into it Phil was. He ran his hand along the tip of Phil's cock, which was very obviously tenting his shorts. 

Phil couldn't help the small moan he let out, but still rolled his eyes anyways. "Shut up, Howell." He slipped his hand suggestively into his own shorts, stroking along his length. "If you want, I can just come now and we can forget the rest of this," he teased, gesturing towards the restraints and candle. 

Dan yelped, an over-exaggerated loud shriek because Dan can apparently never use a proper indoor voice, and pulled at Phil's arm, tackling his hand away from his cock. 

Phil laughed loudly, tongue poking out the side of his mouth in the way Dan liked to tease him about. Dan flopped down beside him, stretching his arms and legs out like a starfish. "Restrain me, dad," he instructed, eyes glinting mischievously. 

Phil shook his head in amusement. He sat up and picked up the pillow behind him, tossing it at Dan's head. 

"Hey!" Dan exclaimed, fake-affronted. He placed the pillow back down beside him. "Abuse!"

"Shush!" Phil pressed his hand down against Dan's mouth, which Dan proceeded to lick. Phil wiped his hand against Dan's joggers and shifted down the bed to straddle Dan's hips. "You're gonna get the cops called."

Dan just smirked back. "And they'll find me tied up with some creep dripping hot wax all over me. Maybe they'll take you away and I'll finally be free of you."

Phil flicked Dan's nipple in retaliation to the comment. "I thought you were the crazy youtuber stalker in the relationship, not me."

"Or maybe it'll be a fit cop, and they'll want to join," Dan added, ignoring Phil's comment.

"Okay, one fantasy at a time." Phil grinned, trailing his fingers teasingly just above the waistband of Dan's joggers. "No threesomes or role play today mate, soz."

Dan put on a fake pout. "Such a boring old man."

Phil slipped his hand beneath the waistband, stroking lightly along Dan's hard cock. Dan shivered in response, hips thrusting up to meet Phil's touch. Phil smirked. "You were saying?"

Dan just sighed in pleasure as Phil ran the pad of his thumb over the tip of his cock. He removed his hand unceremoniously, and Dan whined at the loss of contact. 

"Patience, Danny." Phil sat up, shifting his body off of Dan's. "You want to get strapped in, or what?

"I've been waiting for bloody ages," Dan joked, shifting his body to the middle of the bed. 

"With that attitude, you'll be waiting even longer," Phil joked back, but he was already moving to grab one of the wrist restraints. 

He carefully fastened the first two restraints to Dan's wrists. "How do they feel?" he asked. 

"Good. Really good." Dan smiled up at him.

"Comfortable? They're not digging in or anything?" Phil double-checked. 

"No, yeah they feel good, really." Dan puckered his lips for a kiss, and Phil leaned down for a soft kiss. "Don't worry, I'll let you know if they hurt. Colour system, yeah?"

Phil nodded. They'd been over this a million times, earlier today and in the past whenever they did anything more than simple vanilla sex. They chose the colour system because it was simple and both liked it - green for keep going, yellow for slow down and check what the person needs, and red for stop immediately. They'd never had to actually use 'red' before, but they were always careful to have the conversation beforehand and make sure they were both prepared for the possibility.

He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Dan's joggers and began pulling them down, Dan lifting his hips to help with the removal. Dan's cock sprung free, slapping up against his stomach. Phil swallowed, admiring the short but thick cock, slightly pink and curved a bit to the right. Dan usually tended to keep himself groomed down there, but he was even more so today, hair carefully trimmed down around the base and balls.

Phil knew he'd spent awhile in the shower earlier, meticulously grooming himself in preparation for the wax - the last thing Dan wanted was hot wax sticking to any thick patches of hair. Luckily for Dan, his chest was already free of hair; Phil's eyes roamed over the smooth surface as he pulled Dan's joggers the rest of the way off, cock thickening as he pictured dripping wax over the area. 

He hadn't always known it was a thing he would want to do, but Dan had just been so completely into the idea, had described countless times to Phil how hot he thought it was and all the reasons he wanted to try it. Phil always got so turned on by hearing Dan talk about what he liked in bed, and he was now just as excited to try this out with Dan. He wanted to see how wrecked Dan would become from this, how gorgeous he would look flushed and panting and begging for more, and Phil loved that he could be a part of this with him, that they got to keep experiencing all these new things together even after so many years. 

"Jesus, Phil, you just gonna stare all night?" 

Phil snapped his focus up to Dan's face, who was grinning cheekily at him. 

"Well, stop being so damn pretty," Phil flirted back, tossing Dan's joggers onto the floor and reaching for one of the ankle restraints. 

"You think my cock is pretty?" Dan smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yep," Phil answered back easily, fiddling with the restraint in his hand. "Stretch your leg a bit more to the left," he instructed. He secured the restraint, then moved onto the next one. 

When he was done, Phil leaned back to take in the scene in front of him, feeling a jolt of arousal rush down his body. Dan was spread out across the bed, long limbs straining towards the four corners of the mattress. His rock hard cock was pressed against his stomach, balls on display below. He had begun to sweat along his hairline, curls more pronounced against the dampness. 

Phil's own cock pressed against the seam of his shorts. He palmed himself over the fabric. Dan was staring at Phil's crotch, eyes following the motion of Phil's hand, teeth drawn over his bottom lip. 

"Fuck," Dan breathed out. Phil saw his arm pull at the restraint, then still; his cock twitched against his stomach.

"Bet you wish you could touch yourself right now," Phil said teasingly. He pushed his shorts down, just enough to pull his cock out. He wrapped his hand around the long shaft, moving it slowly along the length. 

Dan whimpered. "I hate you." His hips squirmed. "Come here. I want you. Want your cock in my mouth. Please."

Phil's cock twitched in his hand. He wanted to put it off, tease Dan a little longer, but fuck, he also _really_ wanted those pretty lips around him. 

The intense arousal won out, and Phil was yanking his shorts off and shifting up the bed before he could stop himself. He sank down, knees on either side of Dan's chest, and let his cock dangle an inch above Dan's lips. When Dan lifted his head up to get his mouth on it, Phil pulled back slightly, just out of Dan's reach.

"You're such an ass," Dan whined, voice an octave deeper than usual. 

Phil just laughed in response. His cock was starting to throb from anticipation though, so he lowered his hips back down, pressing the tip against Dan's lips.

Dan mewled, licking against the tip. Phil shuddered. He lowered his hips more, giving Dan access to suck the head into his mouth. He suckled at the tip, and it was enough to have Phil sinking the rest of the way down, Dan taking half his length into his mouth. 

"Ah, fuck," Phil moaned out. He braced his hands against Dan's shoulders, and pulled back out and then in again, fucking slowly into Dan's mouth. He could feel Dan moan, the action sending vibrations against his cock. 

He pulled out a minute later, Dan's tongue chasing his dick and licking the underside. Phil shivered at the touch.

"You want more?" Phil asked, trying for a sexy tone, but his breathing was already slightly erratic. 

Dan nodded eagerly, enlarged pupils looking intently into Phil's eyes. "Please," he said, voice slightly huskier than before. 

Phil lowered back down, this time letting his cock sink fully into Dan's mouth, engulfed in the tight warmth. Dan took him easily, years of practice allowing Phil's cock to slide down into his throat. 

Phil's hips stuttered, and he saw Dan's biceps tighten as he tugged at the restraints, his entire body pulled taut. Phil pulled back slowly and sunk back down again, Dan letting out a choked-off moan.

It was so much, too much almost. Dan was just lying there, taking it, taking whatever Phil wanted to give him, and he looked so pleased to be doing it. His eyes were staring back at Phil with pure lust, an almost hazy look to them, and his tongue was working hungrily around the length of Phil's cock. 

Phil was going to come, he was going to fucking come right here. He pulled back abruptly, Dan whining in protest. 

"Come back." Dan's lips were still parted, waiting for more.

Phil shook his head, sliding off of Dan. 

"You're gonna make me come already. Don't want to yet."

Dan was still staring hungrily back up at him. "Don't care. Want to make you come."

Phil shook his head again. "You say that now, babe, but you'd be pissed later if I was too wiped to carry on," he said lightly, despite the fact his cock was pulsing with the desire to be touched.

"You need to work on your stamina, old man," Dan teased. 

"Watch it, Howell. You're making me tempted to just leave you here like this for a few hours." 

Dan rolled his eyes, the hazy look fading slightly. "We both know you would never." 

Phil just grinned back, because of course he would never - unless that was something Dan wanted. He slid off the bed and picked up the candle in one hand and the lighter in the other, turning to face Dan again. 

"Ready, babe?"

Dan nodded earnestly, his eyes glued to the candle in Phil's hand. "Fuck. Yes. Please." There was a thin sheen of sweat along his forehead. Phil could see his throat bob as he swallowed hard. 

"You sure?"

Dan nodded again. "You?"

Phil smiled. "Definitely."

"Then light the fucking candle already," Dan pleaded. 

"I'd be de- _lighted_ to." Phil snorted at his own pun. 

"You're the worst." Dan probably meant it in his usual tone saved for mocking Phil, but it came out breathless. 

Phil laughed quietly, but the throbbing pressure between his legs urged him to light the candle, quickly but carefully. 

He left the lit candle on the nightstand to give it time to collect pourable wax, then reached into the bedside table drawer, pulling out the bottle of mineral-based unscented oil they'd stashed in there earlier. He opened the bottle, the clicking sound loud in the otherwise quiet room. 

He saw Dan's eyes darken once again, his eyes flicking back and forth between Phil and the bottle in his hand. Phil could physically feel the anticipation building in the air - they both knew what the oil was for, that it was in preparation for the wax to allow for easier removal later. 

Phil shuffled back over to Dan, straddling his thighs. He slowly drizzled the oil over Dan's torso, Dan flinching at the contact. His cock was still sitting heavy against his stomach, a purple shade now, leaking pre-come.

Phil ran his fingertip through the small drop of pre-come on Dan's lower stomach, careful to avoid any contact with Dan's cock, and brought his finger slowly up to his mouth. He looked Dan in the eye as he sucked the liquid off his own finger.

Dan threw his head back and closed his eyes, arms and legs straining against the cuffs. "Fuck you," he groaned, another dribble of pre-come leaking out onto his stomach.

Phil laughed. "Love you too." He took the opportunity that Dan's eyes were closed to quickly lean in and lick the underside of Dan's cock. 

Dan's hips thrust up immediately, searching for more contact, but Phil had already pulled away.

"Have I told you you're the worst?" Dan groaned, tossing his head to the side and biting into his own shoulder. 

"You love it," Phil said matter-of-factly. Dan just groaned again, face still buried into his upper arm.

Phil got to work spreading the oil into a thin coat on Dan's upper body, then moved onto his thighs. He purposefully skipped past his crotch, wanting to put off really touching it a while longer. He knew that as much as Dan whined about it, it drove him absolutely wild to be denied the attention he so desperately craved.

Eventually, the oil was thoroughly applied to the rest of Dan's body, and Phil moved on to the last neglected place. He smiled devilishly as he drizzled the oil slowly along Dan's cock. 

Dan's cock jerked at the sudden contact. Phil teasingly ran his fingers slowly from the base to the head, Dan sighing loudly in response.

"Fuck, Phil. Please."

"Please what?" Phil asked in a put-upon questioning tone, grinning to himself. His own cock was sitting heavy between his legs, but he ignored it for now. It was more fun riling Dan up.

Dan huffed, his hips jerking upwards. "You know what I want, you menace." His chest was heaving, splotches of redness forming along his upper body. "Just fucking touch me."

Phil obliged, mainly because he wanted to make sure he spread the oil properly over Dan's groin. Dan's cock twitched in his hand. Phil was so tempted to get his mouth on it, but he knew now wasn't the time for that. He wrapped his free hand around the base of his own cock, squeezing tight to stave off the pressure building in his lower stomach.

He gave Dan's cock one last quick jerk, before letting it slap back against Dan's stomach. Dan whined in protest. Phil crawled up the bed quickly to shush him with a kiss, quick but deep, then slid off the bed.

He picked up the candle, holding it parallel about a foot above his own arm. He could feel Dan's eyes on him as he waited for the wax to drip.

He flinched as the hot wax made contact with his own arm. Phil was a bit of a wimp when it came to pain, and definitely wasn't turned on by it like Dan was. He needed to test the wax first though, and while it was uncomfortably hot on his own skin, Phil was mostly certain it would feel good on Dan.

"You okay?" Dan asked, as Phil wiped the small drop of cooling wax off his skin and winced again at the contact. 

Phil nodded. He carried the candle slowly to the bed, carefully climbing onto his knees on the mattress next to Dan. 

"Feels like the right temperature, I think." He held the candle up higher, getting ready to position it over Dan's chest. "Let me know how this feels. Ready?"

Dan nodded, and Phil brought the candle over his body. His cock twitched with arousal, but there was also a bundle of nerves twisting in his gut. He wasn't scared exactly, just a bit worried about the possibility of actually hurting Dan. He trusted Dan to be honest about the pain though, and the wax hadn't burned Phil's own skin, so he felt confident it would be okay.

Taking a breath to steady his nerves - the last thing Phil needed right now was a shaky hand - Phil tilted the candle parallel and let the wax drip down onto Dan's chest, careful to stay away from his nipples for now.

His heart dropped to his stomach for a split second as Dan let out a loud whine, chest heaving. Dan was moaning a second later though, and Phil let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Feel okay?" Phil asked, just to be sure.

"God. Yes. Green. Again, fuck."

Phil tilted the candle again, allowing a longer drip of wax to spread onto Dan's chest. Dan tugged at the restraints, the slim muscles in his torso clenching under the soft skin. 

"Jesus fuck. That feels so good." 

"Really? Couldn't tell," Phil teased, smirking at Dan. 

He continued dripping the wax in small patterns over Dan's body, along his chest and stomach, and then down to his thighs. Dan's cock was leaking messily on his lower stomach and hip. He was babbling non-stop as Phil continued to dribble the wax onto his flushed and sweaty skin. 

Phil didn't think he'd ever seen him quite this wrecked before. It was hot, really fucking hot, and Phil's own cock was leaking pre-come against his thigh. He wrapped his free hand around it, stroking hastily. He didn't want to come, not yet, not until Dan was at that point - but fuck, he needed to relieve some of this pressure somehow.

"Where do you want it next?" Phil's voice sounded husky even to his own ears. 

"Anywhere. Everywhere. I - fuck. I don't. Nipples. Fuck. Nipples." Dan rambled, a desperate edge to his voice.

"Okay. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that." Phil wanted that, wanted anything that would have Dan falling apart for him even more, begging and desperate. He removed his hand from his cock, taking a steadying breath. He needed to be in control.

Phil slid up the bed to get a better angle over Dan's nipples. He raised the candle a bit higher than before, wanting to be sure to keep the contact at a slightly cooler temperature at first when experimenting with the more sensitive areas of the body. 

At the first drop of wax onto his nipple, Dan threw his head back, screaming out _fuck_. Phil immediately dribbled more wax over the area, then onto the other nipple. 

"Touch me," Dan whimpered out. "Please fucking touch me." His hips jutted upwards, legs thrashing against the restraints. 

Phil shuffled back down the bed, straddling over Dan's legs. His cock brushed against Dan's thigh, and the hint of pressure had Phil grinding down before he could help it. 

Dan moaned loudly. "Phil, please. Touch me."

Phil shook his head, looking up to catch Dan's eye. "Wouldn't you rather I did something else?" He held the candle up above Dan's hips suggestively, careful not to hold it directly above his cock in case any wax dripped down accidentally.

Dan looked like he took a second to register what Phil was asking, and then nodded quickly. "Yeah. Yes. Would like that."

Phil made sure Dan was looking him back in the eyes, then asked, "You sure?" It was something they had already discussed beforehand, and they had researched it and knew it was safe to include the genitals in wax play. Still, Phil wanted to make sure Dan was still up for it right now.

Dan thrust his hips up again. "Yes, I'm sure, want that so bad."

Phil's own cock pulsed, but he ignored it in favour of giving Dan's neglected cock a quick teasing wank, smirking at the low groan Dan let out. He held the candle over his crotch, about the same height as he'd done for the nipples. 

The wax dripped down slowly. Phil watched in anticipation as the first drip landed on the base of Dan's cock. Dan screamed out in pleasure, another spurt of pre-come adding to the mess. 

Phil dribbled more hot wax over Dan's cock, as well as his balls, lowering the candle slightly as Dan grew more accustomed to the heat. 

Dan was loud at first, like he had been the whole time, moaning and blabbering and whining, begging for more and more. 

He slowly went quiet though, loud moans turning into soft whimpers. Phil looked up to check on him, and Dan had mostly stilled, chest still heaving, but arms and legs no longer pulling against the restraints. His eyes had that hazy look again, but even more so than earlier.

"Dan?" Phil brought the candle upright again. "Green?"

Dan's eyes moved to look at Phil, but it felt like they were looking past him, or through him. He looked relaxed though, and he confirmed, "Green."

As Phil continued to drip the wax over Dan's crotch, Dan's cock stayed fully hard, straining against his stomach. His muscles were still tensed and he was still letting out the occasional low moan - but something just felt off to Phil.

He moved the candle up again, and Dan's lower body squirmed in response, but he didn't make any sound. That wasn't normal for Dan during sex, especially when they played like this. Dan was _always_ loud, begging and moaning and telling Phil what he wants.

Phil looked up at Dan again. He was looking out in Phil's direction, eyes glossed over in a blurry film. 

"Dan?" Phil asked. "You good?"

Dan just tilted his face up to the ceiling, his lips parted slightly. His hips thrust up again into nothing but air, and he whimpered quietly. He looked dazed, but almost serene. 

He also looked blank. Vacant. 

Phil's heart hammered in his chest. Oh god, oh god. Had he done something wrong?

"Dan!" he said more insistently. 

He felt sick, stomach swimming with nerves. Dan ignored him still, hips rolling in circles, presumably looking for some sort of contact.

"Dan? Dan. Dan!" 

Dan's head turned slowly toward Phil then, but he still had that horrible vacant look in his eyes, a look far too similar to one Phil had seen from him many times before, in an entirely different context. Oh god, he couldn't do this. His skin crawled, stomach sinking with fear. 

"Dan! Dan, red, red, red. Red!"

Phil vaguely registered he was crying, felt the tears streaming down his face. 

Recognition dawned in Dan's face, but there was still a cloudy look in his eyes.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Dan struggled to sit up, but he didn't have his arms free to support him, and his core muscles were spent from tensing in reaction to the wax. He slumped back down, his arms sloppily pulling at the restraints. There was a thick haziness to his movements, like he was moving through a syrupy substance. "Did I do something wrong?" His voice was quiet, lost. 

Phil wanted to comfort him straight away, but his body was trembling. He shook his head slowly, trying to slow the racing thoughts in his own head. "No, babe, you were perfect." His voice was shaky. "I just - I needed to stop, okay. I'm sorry."

He was frozen for a few seconds, anxious brain working too fast for his body to react. He suddenly remembered the candle he was still holding in his hand. After making sure it was completely extinguished, Phil placed the used candle on a dish he'd left on the bedside table. 

He sat back down on the bed next to Dan. The same foggy look was still in his eyes, but there was also a hint of confusion. Phil noticed out of the corner of his eye that Dan's cock was still fully hard, straining against his hip; Phil's own hard-on had flagged at some point in the last few minutes, resting half-hard against his inner thigh.

"What's wrong?" Dan repeated, voice timid. Phil hated that sound. Dan rarely ever sounded timid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - "

"No, no, it's okay." It wasn't okay, not really, because Phil's heart was still racing - but it wasn't Dan's fault. 

Phil's brain was catching up with his body's reactions, and he realized now that Dan had gone into some sort of subspace - they had researched a lot, and Phil was fully aware of that possibility. It had never happened before though, at least not like this. Even though Phil could recognize it for what it was, he couldn't help the churning feeling in his gut, the residual fear that was still lingering in his bones.

He knew he had to stay in control though, knew the last thing he could do was leave Dan wondering what he did wrong when he was in this state. 

"You were great, love," Phil said softly, gently pushing a stray curl off of Dan's forehead. "Let's get these things off you," he gestured to the restraints, "and get you all cleaned up."

Dan still looked dazed, and Phil wanted to cuddle him but he also wanted to get Dan out of this vulnerable position, spread eagle across the bed and covered with dried wax. His body itched with the need to scrub his own skin, and he didn't even know why. It had all been so hot just minutes earlier. 

Phil made quick work of releasing Dan's limbs from the restraints; he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when he saw the skin there was mostly free from marks, only a faint indent on his wrists and ankles that he knew would disappear quickly. 

Dan didn't immediately move his newly freed arms and legs though, instead keeping them in their rigid places, chest slowly rising up and down as he let out even breaths. He was still far too fucking still, like he'd barely even noticed Phil had removed the things that were holding him in place.

Phil felt the tears welling in his eyes again, and he angrily wiped them away. He didn't understand why he was even reacting this way - nothing they'd ever done had made him feel this way, so why now? 

He gently massaged Dan's biceps, coaxing him to bend his arms back down, while Dan looked at him with that faraway look in his eyes. 

"That hurt at all?" Phil asked, voice too loud in the quiet room, as he helped Dan stretch out his tired limbs.

Dan shook his head, motions languid.

"Good," Phil murmured. His stomach still felt funny, but he remembered the water and granola bar they'd left out on one of the nightstands. He held them out to Dan, Dan's hands reacting a beat later than usual. "Sit up and have some of this, okay? I'll finish getting you cleaned up."

Phil gently but efficiently cleaned the wax off of Dan, the dried substance mostly wiping off easily from the prior oil application. He quickly applied some moisturizing cream afterwards, to help soothe the skin where the wax had been dripped.

Dan's eyes were starting to look a bit clearer by the time he was done. Phil asked him to stand up for a second while he removed the old sheet covered with bits of wax. He wrapped it up in a ball to keep the wax contained, then left in on the floor to deal with later. 

Phil grabbed the duvet that they'd tossed on a chair in their room earlier, and threw it back over the bed. They both wordlessly crawled back onto the bed and under the covers, turning to face each other.

Dan looked a lot more alert than earlier, but he still looked a little out of it, like he was coming down from a high. Phil's own eyes were still a bit watery, but his pulse had slowed down to a normal pace, and he didn't have the same sick feeling in his stomach as before. Even so, he felt tired, just generally worn out from the ordeal.

Dan shifted a bit closer and wrapped his arms around Phil, pulling him tight against his body. Phil sighed quietly, resting his head against Dan's shoulder. 

"You okay?" Dan murmured, voice muffled where his face was pressed against Phil's head.

Phil nodded. He was feeling much better, felt safe wrapped up in Dan's arms. 

They stayed like that for awhile, cuddled close, wrapped around each other from head to toe. Neither of them spoke, just basking in the comfort of one another. Phil knew that was what they needed - he needed time to finish settling the discomfort and fear he had felt, and Dan needed time to fully come out of the light subspace he'd gone into. 

Eventually, Phil shifted, pulling back slightly from Dan. He kept his legs wrapped around Dan's, hands rubbing small circles over Dan's lower back. He smiled when he saw Dan looking back at him with focused eyes, lips parted in a small but cautious smile.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked, just to be sure Dan actually was all there again.

"Good." Dan ran his hand along Phil's waist. "You?"

"Better." He smoothed back a tangle of Dan's sweaty curls. "Much better now."

"What happened, babe?" Dan's voice was quiet, but he didn't sound scared. Just concerned, and also a bit confused. "It's just, I thought it was going well. I hope I didn't like, do something. You were having fun at first right?" 

Phil nodded. "Yeah, it was really good at first. And it was nothing you did, not really. Like, it wasn't your fault or anything." He sighed, taking a moment to figure out how to word it, to figure out his own jumbled feelings. 

Dan waited patiently, drawing patterns into the fleshy skin of Phil's hip with his fingertips. 

"Like, I don't know." Phil drew his foot along Dan's calf. "I just got scared, I guess? When you dropped. I'd never seen you like that before."

Dan nodded. "Why did it scare you?"

Phil shrugged. He was pretty sure he knew, but he also didn't want to hurt Dan's feelings. They had been together long enough that they fully trusted each other, and were able to talk about anything no matter how difficult it was. That was the thing Phil valued most in their relationship, that they were best friends above anything else, and he knew Dan felt the same way. That didn't mean every single conversation was easy, though. 

Dan pressed a kiss to Phil's forehead. "It's okay," he encouraged.

Phil took another breath, looking down at the duvet. "You just looked really... blank? Like, not there." His voice shook slightly as he continued. "And I felt like I'd seen that look on you before in, you know, different circumstances." He finally peered back up at Dan, who looked a bit sad, but also understanding. He reached for Phil's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"And then you weren't responding at first," Phil continued. "And it started making me anxious and stuff, and then I just started panicking." 

Dan nodded. "That makes sense." He rubbed his thumb over Phil's hand. "I'm sorry it scared you."

"You don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, I know," Dan interjected. "It still sucks though." He pulled Phil in closer again, and Phil felt his body melt into Dan's. "You're feeling better now though, really?"

"Yeah, definitely. I think my brain just sort of overreacted to the whole thing." He pressed a quick kiss to Dan's lips. "The rest of it was really fucking hot though." 

Dan raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly back at Phil. "Yeah?"

"Mmhmm." Phil grinned back, feeling the last bit of tension releasing from his body. "I was really into everything until, you know, I wasn't."

Dan snorted. "Eloquently put, Lester." 

Phil loved that he was able to joke with him, that he knew Phil's lines well enough to know that Phil was feeling okay enough for it. He booped Dan's nose, which just made Dan giggle in response. "You know what I meant." 

Dan nodded. 

"I was honestly really into the whole thing."

"Same." Dan grinned cheekily.

"Clearly." Phil laughed, while Dan just shrugged with a faux-sheepish expression on his face. 

"It felt really fucking good, okay?" Dan was still grinning, but then his expression softened slightly. "We definitely don't have to do any of that again, though." He ran his fingers tenderly through Phil's flattened quiff. "I hate how it ended. I don't want you to go through that again." He looked a bit sad again, both guilty and concerned.

"Hey, it's fine." Phil squeezed Dan's hip reassuringly. "We knew this sort of thing could happen. And I'm okay now, really." He looked seriously into Dan's eyes. "We shouldn't be scared to try new things like this, just because it didn't work out one time."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I'm always right." Phil cut in.

"Shut up, rat." Dan tickled Phil's ribs, making Phil squeal.

"But seriously though," Phil continued, once he'd successfully ended the tickling. "I'll need a bit of time, but I think I want to try something like this again sometime." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I liked most of it. I think we might need to just go even slower if we do something like this again." Phil spoke slowly, thinking it over as he talked. "Or maybe this will be something that usually makes you drop, and maybe I'll never like that."

"Which is fine." Dan pressed another quick kiss to Phil's cheek. "You don't have to ever be okay with that, and we can try to find ways to not make it go that far. Or at least better ways for you to notice if I'm starting to drop."

Phil hummed in response. "Yeah, we'll figure it out." He yawned loudly. They had time to work it out, time to do more research and talk more extensively about everything before they attempted something like this again. 

He was exhausted right now though. He was okay, he knew Dan was okay, and that's what mattered right now. Sometimes these things just didn't work out as planned, but it wasn't the end of the world. 

Phil yawned again, snuggling deeper into Dan's chest. "Night, babe." He felt a kiss press against the top of his head before he drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Wasted Youth" by FLETCHER
> 
>  
> 
> tumblr post [ here ](https://onedirectionticketss1.tumblr.com/post/175154710033/title-youre-the-ultimate-high-that-im-tripping)


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